Uh
by therealladyearth
Summary: WTH IDEK ((I'm trying a new writing style can you tell?))


**I need to update my stories. /dies  
****I don't own this. /slaps away readers claiming I own it  
****Because I'm not even in the fandom and I love guessing personalities. **

Hi my name's Eren and I fucking hate titans because they ate my mom even though I screeched beautiful songs that made her ears bleed all the time.

"Da Hell's up, brudda?" Mikasa who is the coolest chick in the world because she's my adopted sister and that loser nerd shota Armin are walking up to me.

"Not much, ma brudda!" When you talk to Mikasa you must adopt a thug accent because she's so cool she steals your S.W.A.G. shirts. She just don't want me to be a secret gay she want me to be a 'Get the Hell out of my closet you pervert' gay. But I ain't gay because Mikasa has them round things that make boys and girls crazy.

"Eren, art thou even listening to my speculations?" Armin-the-shota-nerd asks, using a big word I don't get. "Honestly thou art the dimmest-minded Homo Sapiens I have had the mispleasure of acknowledging!"

"Woah Armin slow down," I gasp, his big-worded insults are too much for me! My kokoro has brokoro. A tear glistens down my cheek and all the other trainees stop to see the beautifully shaped drop of water hit the ground. "You brokoro my kokoro!"

Everyone gasps.

"Awmum hmm cmm ymm?" Sasha asks, mouth full of potatoes that spray everywhere. Everyone tries to decipher her horribly mashed words. See what I did there, _mashed_- "Nmmne mmkm Ewmm cwmm!"

"She says, 'Armin how could you? No one makes Eren cry!'" Connie, the local pankster/Sasha translator says, turning his voice into a fairly spot-on girl's voice. None of us had ever heard her real voice except for him, as she was always eating potatoes.

"I can't wait until I can leave you losers," Annie states emotionlessly, and Armin-the-shota-nerd blushes at the thought of her leaving everyone but him and his bed oh yeah. Mikasa beats her up for insulting me though.

That older couple is making out and even though it's horrifying I stare at it for several minutes before tearing myself away.

I wonder whether that weird dark-skinned girl and Crista-chan have started dating yet so I look at them and holy shit they're in the process of getting married.

"And will you, Crista, accept this woman for the rest of eternity? As your lover? And change your last name to match hers, which is Ym-"

"Look at those titties!" Jean mutters, and I turn to see that weirdo drooling with his nose bleeding. Goddammit he interrupted the unveiling of that weirdo chick's name! I almost chastise him for ogling a girl cause all those titties be mine before I realise he's staring at Marco. Oh. Awkward.

"J-Jean! I already told you I don't have titties! BAKA~!" Marco runs away, arms covering his chest as he cries shota sparkles into the night which is weird because it's morning and Armin's the shota in this show. The creator must get rid of him in a horribly excruciating way.

Suddenly an alarm goes off and we all go to kick them titan ass.

"Annie why the Hell are you going to leave the group?" I notice that cool chick leaving. She glares so I drop it because I'm too cool to have my ass kicked before the real fight.

And then after a weird long chain of events I find myself in a titan's mouth, reaching for Armin-the-shota-nerd's hand.

"Armin how the Hell did we get here?!" I ask but all of a sudden the titan bites down and ow my fucking arm has been bitten off. I can hear Armin-the-shota-nerd screaming because holy crap shut up you're too loud I want to die in peace damn it.

The stomach is disgusting ew I'll never get eaten again.

Some weird crap happens and I find mself controlling a giant titan Hell yes just what my dream profession was: Titan Tamer! I roar in outrage and beat all them other titans to a pulp and giggle a strange ugly garbled giggle that is somehow girly.

I realise it's a fanfiction and then I kill everyone and run off with a she-titan ressembling Annie. Then we get married and repopulate the world with Titan-Shifter bodies.

THE END.

_Please don't take this seriously I barely know anything about the show._


End file.
